The Vulnerability of Being Seen
I’ve had the desire to write a blog, and the technical setup to launch for over a year now.
Something consistently holds me back, those all too familiar moments of self-doubt, fear of judgment, fear of not writing something articulately or delicately enough, so much not enough-ness.
There’s a double-edged sword to the experience of being deeply and truly seen.
It can feel risky. If all goes well, and we are accepted as our full authentic selves, being seen can feel so good, so warm, so connected.
Sometimes being seen in our authentic self expression can feel overwhelming. This is especially true if we struggle with relentless self-criticism and shame. Having core beliefs that we are fundamentally flawed, broken, or unworthy can make being seen in our vulnerability feel like it’s way too much.
What if someone else sees my inherent badness and brokenness and rejects me for it?
I remember the early days of living with my partner and feeling deeply depressed. I was used to navigating depression on my own. I wouldn’t reach out for help, I would just get through it somehow. I remember being so ashamed of not being able to articulate to my partner why I was so sad and why I couldn’t stop crying. To my surprise, my partner just let me be sad and stayed by my side. I didn’t have to explain myself. I didn’t have to hide. I could just be my raw self and be accepted in my vulnerability.
It took a lot of work to let myself be seen in that way. To let someone else in to my life and really see me, see the parts of my life that I kept hidden from view.
The experience of being seen and accepted for who you are does something nourishing for the soul.
It takes practice and discernment to navigate what settings and with whom do we feel safe to be seen. It’s important to take care of ourselves in this way. Starting small with sharing an opinion, a preference, or a private thought can help with that discernment process of figuring out which settings and with whom do you feel safe to be seen.
My hope in writing this blog is to help others feel seen in these words, so that the private struggles that are all part of our human experience feel less isolating.
Your fellow human,
~ Alex
I’m Alex, a licensed psychotherapist in Richmond, VA.
I help adults who may have experienced trauma in close relationships break free from the grip of shame and self-criticism. I help them make lasting change and show up as their full, authentic selves.
